Up, Down (And if I'm in the mood) Maybe Round and Round.

I think the deal with studying Philosophy and pretty much any other non-technical subject, is that you ought to take it seriously, but never too seriously. Retrospectively speaking, when I was doing my bachelors, my premature understanding of the same idea, was something I was pretty kicked about. On one hand, I was genuinely interested and open to being affected by it. On the other hand though: I really tried my best, to keep from using it to fill a vacuum in my life – or the spaces that were the deficiencies of my personality. Think of it as the contrast between, “I study philosophy” and “I: study philosophy”. There was enough of the latter going around me.  Still is, actually. The only thing that’s probably changed now, is that I take most of the philosophy I’m exposed to as either for granted or as being uninteresting. I would place jazz at the centre of myself at times, but that too wearily as I don’t have that enlightened and intimate a connection with the art form (yet?) and the moments of it I may or may not experience are fleeting at best.

I figure if there are perceived spaces in your life, there’s really no point trying to fill them with things. People, places, arts whatever – its about coming to peace with the gap, or re-arranging yourself, till it’s not there.

I digress though. What I meant to bring up was something that’s been on my mind lately – and was further consolidated yesterday morning, when Nicolas used the same phrase and arrangement of words. He was talking about how he feels he needs to return to a healthier, more focused and concentrated lifestyle – and how circumstances at present are seemingly unconducive to the same.

More relevant: being the accompanying sensation that life is cyclical – and the best that one can really do (to a certain degree) is ride the wave with some amount of style and hopefully have it, if it’s a good one, last as long as it can or, hold it together – if it’s a not-so hot wave.

I don’t mean to sound fatalistic about the whole thing – it’s not that there’s no control. You can alleviate the symptoms and consolidate yourself – and when you get good at It – you can almost ignore the cycle, but there’s not much you can do to the cycle itself. There’s no forcing it in either direction. The reason why I brought up Philosophy at all, was because a lot of the Buddhism we studied talked about the cyclical nature of life – both in terms of practical every day material and in a larger overbearing metaphysical sense (though I am pulling this out of context just a little).

I think this was a big reason why Indian Philosophy got so popular and managed to find its way into the self-help and spirituality sections of Barnes and Noble & Borders and co. It’s very coping oriented. There’s just enough metaphysical abstract content to satiate the average western spiritually-starved mind; but yet enough practical how-to-deal content that just sounds like good advice.

How to navigate around every day muck: Negative thoughts, sensations of isolation, anger, temptation and so on. 

Returning to the idea of cyclical phases of life – what could one be talking about? Well generally the understanding that on the broadest level: there are positive phases and negative ones. More specifically, the breakdown can go on. Phases of exhaustion; of freshness; of optimism; of creativity; of self deprecation; of motivation; of demotivation and so on.

What’s on my mind, is just a little stranger though. For me, the question seems to present itself at the stage where you’re firm with your understanding and perception of life as being in cycles but you become too familiar and you just don’t feel like directly engaging with them any more (by virtue of the fact that they are cycles).

I understand living in the moment – and the family of accompanying one line gems like, “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey” – but sometimes, you just want to say, “Hey man, I’ve seen this movie before. I know how it goes”.

Not to rob life of it’s element of surprise – we all know chance can go out of it’s way to sideline you, when you’re just sitting around on that Tuesday afternoon, but in a more retracted sense – the motions can get pretty mundane (?). No matter how exciting the content of your experience is.

The only bailout here, really is just that though: experience. The idea that as an active and passive agent engaging in perception and undergoing change, in the cycles of life, you will experience – see, touch, taste, feel – things that give you the sensation of a fuller existence.

That’s the gamble I guess.

On lighter notes: I had something happen to me last night that probably best provides insight into the failing connection between the movies and real life. I was driving back home from the gig last night and it must’ve been round about 1am and as I took the turn for the house, there was this gorgeous but slightly scruffy and old retriever just standing on the corner of the road – looking very lost. It was a really cold and some what foggy night. You couldn’t see great – but as far as I could tell, it was on it’s own.

I thought about it for a second and stopped the car moreorless in the middle of the road and walked upto it. The dog was a real sweetheart and I played with it for atleast a minute - and then out of nowhere, this girl on her phone (with her mum about 10 yards behind her) pops up looking very worried – not for her dog, but more so by the creepy dog-napper/possible rapist who’d abandoned his car open in the middle of the road. I didn’t really bother saying much, since her mum was freaking out from behind those 10 yards (not that she herself was particularly keen on 1.15am conversation). So much for my serendipitous engagement. I was even dressed well. What do you know.

Hm. I’m playing jazz-duo with Nicolas during the break of a polo match in a couple of hours today. This is up at the Jaipur polo-ground, which happen to be in Delhi, but I’m still clueless as to it’s whereabouts. So I should spend sometime on Google earth figuring it out. Should be interesting.

Lets hope experience compensates.

On a smaller and more self-promotional note: Drift will start playing live jazz at Baci (in Sunder Nagar Market) as of the 18th of this month - which is a Thursday. As far as I know - we will be playing every thursday for the course of this month. The venue is a very warm cafe and the gig's will be fully acoustic and intimate. I hope and expect to see a lot of you there.